So if you were on Twitter during the game, you saw this. If not, here’s the story of what really led to the Pirates comeback today. James Santelli has been working on a Garrett Jones article this week, which took a lot of research and time to put together. You can check it out here: Analysis: Teams Should Shift Their Infield More Against Garrett Jones.
I didn’t want to upload the article during the game, since I didn’t want it to get lost in the game updates. Then the Pirates were down 5-0 and it didn’t look like there was any chance they were going to come alive. So I DMed James with the following message: “Screw it. I’m uploading now. Not like the game will be much competition.” His response: “Haha now that’s optimism!”
It turned out that it was a reverse jinx. Immediately after uploading that, the Pirates scored four runs in the seventh inning. They were back. But they fell short of the total comeback, and I was finishing up my work at McKechnie. So I tried another reverse jinx.
New rev. jinx guys. Going home to watch the game, but stopping by Sweetberries b/c I don't think I'll miss anything. I'm doing this for you.
— Tim Williams (@TimWilliamsPBN) April 14, 2013
I packed up my stuff, and after making it down the slow elevator at McKechnie I checked my phone. Two run homer from McKenry. I continued with the plan. Drove to Sweetberries and picked up some cookies and cream, which was the flavor of the day. Remember, I was doing this for Pirates fans. It’s not like I had planned this from the moment it was announced that cookies and cream would be the flavor this day.
I got in the car, checked my Twitter feed, and here’s a summary of what I saw:
So I’m telling you this because, if you buy the Prospect Guide, that’s just extra money for Sweetberries. Each trip is about $4. Or $6 on Cookie Dough day, because you know I’m getting a quart for the freezer on Cookie Dough day. It only happens once a month. But let’s keep it simple and say each trip is $4. That’s five comeback wins for each Prospect Guide sold. A win in baseball usually costs $5 M in free agency. We’re talking about $4 wins here. That’s not $4 million. That’s 400 pennies. Except no one uses pennies. That would be annoying. I guess what I’m trying to say is that Sweetberries is the new market inefficiency, and buying the Prospect Guide is proven to help the Pirates win*.
*Not actually proven. It’s just a claim I made up that is total B.S and based solely off coincidence.
I know what you’re thinking. “Tim, what a way to make a shameless plug for the book. Geez, can’t you afford ice cream? Are you that desperate?” To that I respond “Sweetberries is effing five minutes from my apartment. It’s not that I can’t afford ice cream. It’s that I can’t afford ice cream every time I remember that Sweetberries is effing five minutes away, which is daily. So yeah, you’re getting shameless plugs.”
Would I be willing to make that sacrifice and eat Sweetberries every game so that the Pirates can be successful? It would be difficult. I mean it is like 85 degrees with 200% humidity every day in Florida right now. It’s only going to get worse throughout the summer. Who would want delicious frozen custard in those conditions? But yeah, I’d do it for you guys. Well, not this Saturday. The flavor is Pralines & Cream, and that’s pretty disgusting. No one should have to eat that for a baseball win. Plus Friday is out, since the flavor is German Chocolate Cake, and I’m not a big fan. But guys, I’m totally in for next Wednesday, and not just because it’s Peanut Butter and M&Ms. Actually, yeah. Only because it’s Peanut Butter and M&Ms. But also only for you guys. And only to help the Pirates win. So in summary, only all of those things each individually. Now that I think about it, I don’t even know if the Pirates play next Wednesday.
And hey, if this doesn’t work, we’ll just fall back to reverse jinx number one. That doesn’t mean I’d stop trying the Sweetberries jinx. It just means James would need a shit load of articles ready in the queue, ready to upload in the middle of a game, in the event that the Pirates need a comeback. But we’ll try Sweetberries first. After today it’s worth 1.0 WAR on the 2013 season, which is 1.4 wins more than Rod Barajas contributed in 2012.
Disclaimer: Despite the mention of Sweetberries eight times in the article and four times in this disclaimer, and this whole post being all about Sweetberries, this isn’t a paid advertisement for Sweetberries. I wish it was, and I wish the payment was ice cream. If anyone from Sweetberries Industries (I’m assuming that’s what you’re called) is reading, I’m totally willing to make that happen. I would totally sell out, and I don’t even care what these readers would think about it. I can say that because they’re probably not even reading at this point. They read one paragraph and they were like “Oh, Tim got lazy and decided not to break down Phil Irwin’s debut or write some other form of analysis tonight.” But they’ll be back for that stuff tomorrow night. And ‘berries…can I call you ‘berries? When they’re back, I will promote you to them, all for free ice cream. Except when the flavor of the day is butterscotch. Stop it with that every month. This isn’t Canada.
Links and Notes
**The 2013 Prospect Guide and the 2013 Annual are both available on the products page of the site. If you order them together, you’ll save $5. Get them both to use throughout the 2013 season. And help the Pirates win in the process*.
*Again, not proven.